and goodnight
My dear friend Sybil died tonight at approximately 9:30 pm.
Normally, I would go to the hospital after work, but today, I kept feeling a nudge to wait . . . wait until 7 or 7:30, so I did. I cleaned my apartment, took a long shower, made a nice dinner, prepared myself, and then went to the hospital. While I was shocked by what I saw, I took it as a sign that tonight would be the night. I can't describe it here, but anyone who has witnessed a death might know something of what I am talking about. Her parents ended up coming to the hospital about a half hour after I got there, which surprised me because I had heard they would be gone until Wednesday at which time support would be terminated . . . when they arrived and saw the condition she was in, they decided this would be the night. Brad (Sybil's fiance) went to get Jason, her brother who was not reachable by phone for some reason. After they arrived, we visited some and Robert spoke with the doctor about what was about to occur.
Soon, we gathered around her bed as the breathing support was terminated. We watched as she took fewer and fewer breaths. I kissed her hand, she gasped for air, breathed about three more times, and that was it. I was for some reason holding in my emotions, but found it so difficult to do when I watched Ginny lean over her daughter crying. I can't imagine anything being more painful to witness than parents grieving the death of their child(ren).
I felt so honored to be there for Sybil's transition. I cannot express in words how beautiful this was. I feel as though Sybil visited me in spirit this afternoon and told me to wait until later to go to the hospital. She must have known that I wanted to be present when she left.
My dear beautiful fellow Aquarian . . . I miss you so much, but I understand that you are happier now. I believe that. And I meant it when I said you could always come back and say hi!
There is a lot more I would love to share here, but I've been awake for over 22 hours and need some sleep now.
Pictures of Sybil can be seen here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessiqua/
Normally, I would go to the hospital after work, but today, I kept feeling a nudge to wait . . . wait until 7 or 7:30, so I did. I cleaned my apartment, took a long shower, made a nice dinner, prepared myself, and then went to the hospital. While I was shocked by what I saw, I took it as a sign that tonight would be the night. I can't describe it here, but anyone who has witnessed a death might know something of what I am talking about. Her parents ended up coming to the hospital about a half hour after I got there, which surprised me because I had heard they would be gone until Wednesday at which time support would be terminated . . . when they arrived and saw the condition she was in, they decided this would be the night. Brad (Sybil's fiance) went to get Jason, her brother who was not reachable by phone for some reason. After they arrived, we visited some and Robert spoke with the doctor about what was about to occur.
Soon, we gathered around her bed as the breathing support was terminated. We watched as she took fewer and fewer breaths. I kissed her hand, she gasped for air, breathed about three more times, and that was it. I was for some reason holding in my emotions, but found it so difficult to do when I watched Ginny lean over her daughter crying. I can't imagine anything being more painful to witness than parents grieving the death of their child(ren).
I felt so honored to be there for Sybil's transition. I cannot express in words how beautiful this was. I feel as though Sybil visited me in spirit this afternoon and told me to wait until later to go to the hospital. She must have known that I wanted to be present when she left.
My dear beautiful fellow Aquarian . . . I miss you so much, but I understand that you are happier now. I believe that. And I meant it when I said you could always come back and say hi!
There is a lot more I would love to share here, but I've been awake for over 22 hours and need some sleep now.
Pictures of Sybil can be seen here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessiqua/
posted by Jessica at 02:22
8 Comments:
Beint present during a loved one's transition is simply beautiful. At that moment, one can feel the love of their spirit go through you.
Sybil's spirit and soul are finally at rest. She'll be smilin' always.
Thank you for sharing your story. Love continues on and on...
~X~
http://xavierism.livejournal.com/
I'm saddened to learn that Sybil has passed from this world. I know your heart is grieving and I pray for peace. I will miss Sybil, her bright soul, creative spirit and boundless love of life.
Love, Susan
I am sending you many loving vibes, good healing ones, too.
You don't know me, but I found you through LJ and just wanted to send you my thoughts.
Jennifer
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I'm sorry to hear about Sybil. I didn't know her, as you don't know me, but found you on LJ (through a friend), and wish all her loved ones the best, including you. I know everyone will greatly miss her.
Hugs,
Trina
(actresstrina on LJ)
Thank you for sharing part of Sybil's life with us, and for sharing those beautiful smiling pictures. I've only seen one or two of those before. It's awesome to see others. I send you healing, love, and peace, and at the same time, I hope you take all the time you need to grieve and be sad, because that's part of the whole healing process too. I'm glad you were able to be there for her transition to the spirit world. I'm sure she wanted you there and was glad to have you by her side. I am so sad to hear that she's gone. I know we'll all miss her so much. Take care.
I am posting this comment because it hits so close to home. My fiance, Laura, passed away less than a month ago after having gone through almost identical treatments. She had re-occuring Hodgkin's disease, with a very large tumor in her chest.
She had gone through a bone marrow transplant in October/November. Incidentally, a friend of mine, my current roommate, who knew Sybil, had pointed us to her journal some time last year, before Sybil went into her transplant. Laura read Sybil's Livejournal, but never initiated contact for some reason or another. Laura was moved by Sybil's writing, because she made everything sound so hopeful.
All I can really say is that, even though I know nothing of Sybil outside of her journal, I am completely broken hearted to read about this. I really do know what you are going through, because I am going through it myself, at this time.
I held Laura in my arms as her body died, and I know first hand what you are talking about. I had to make the decision to take her off of the respirator. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, and even a month later, I am... I don't know what to do with myself.
If you, or her fiance, want someone to talk to... seriously, contact me. My email address is dt10111@yahoo.com. I can give you my phone number. I feel like I need to reach out to you, even though we don't know each other. I simply know.
Laura kept a journal, too, which I used in the end to communicate to her friends as things went down. It is at http://www.livejournal.com/users/nvayne
You can see a lot of what I went through. I will seriously be thinking about you in the weeks to come. I am just so broken hearted to hear about this. It is like all the good souls are being taken from us.
Thank you so much for sharing your last moments with Sybil with us. I met Sybil on Livejournal. I quickly learned what a beautiful spirit she had. She was always optimistic, full of hope, full of life.
I wish that I could have met her in real life.
She will continue to be an inspiration. What an amazing young woman she was.
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