a-voi-dance

Sybil's condition is somewhat stable, although still not so promising. I have been at the hospital everyday this week since Monday and intend to continue going until she is able to leave. Her lungs aren't getting worse, though the rate at which they seem to be recovering may be too slow. I have continued to visit with her parents while I am there. We tend to get caught up in conversation which ultimately serves to distract us from the harsh reality of Sybil's fragile state as we sit just a few feet from her bed. Periodically, her mother gets up to look at Sybil, adjust some lines or pillows, and usually gets teary-eyed. For some reason, I am not caught up in my emotions these days. I am so afraid to be. I am not ready quite yet to go through it all again, not after what happened throughout Decemeber. I suppose I am pacing myself, saving my energy? I don't know.

Last night I went to Elizabeth's right after the hospital. We'd arranged this evening probably a week or so ago. She and I both love games, and pop culture and trivia. She happens to have the Trvivial Pursuit Pop Culture edition, and a game called Scene It. She invited a bunch of other people over as well. We drank beer, played the games and watched Project Runway. It was nice to get my mind off the heaviness of Sybil's condition. I think I did drink too much, though. I had four beers and felt rather queasy this morning, but it eventually wore off. Bad me. Anyway, I think I need to allow myself nights like that more often, when appropriate, of course. I need to avoid my reclusive tendencies and reach out, and lighten up from time to time.